Introduction
Your young child has more complex emotions than before and is sounding more like a grown-up. Below, discover some of the activities that your child may enjoy as they take part in more complex active, creative, and pretend play.
On this page, you’ll learn how to support your child’s speech, language, social and emotional development. Find ways to help your child solve problems, involve your child in household chores, and support your child as they learn to get along with others, including siblings.
Communication
Communicating with your young child
Your young child is starting to sound more like a grown-up. They use simple sentences that are often 5–6 words long. When they tell a story, they may combine their sentences by saying “and” or “and then.” They may say things like “mans,” instead of “men,” and “fum,” instead of “thumb,” but other people can usually understand what they’re saying.
Your child is now using language to:
- Tell people what they want and need
- Make friends and express their feelings and emotions
- Share and learn more about their interests and their world
- Share their stories and jokes
- Read and print
- Solve problems
Have any questions or concerns about your child’s speech, language and hearing answered before they start kindergarten by calling Health Link at 811 or talk with your health care provider.
Speech and language development
If you’re concerned about your child’s speech and language development, act early. They can receive speech and language services at any age at no cost.
Encouraging language and literacy
Encourage your child’s language and literacy:
- Encourage them to explore and explain how things work. Take time to answer their questions or ask what they think the answer might be.
- Do things together. Talk about what you’re doing while you cook, set the table or make family meals together.
- Share their interests. Go on adventures together. Look at books or magazines at the library.
- Look at family photos and keepsakes. Share stories about family memories and events. Use lots of describing words. “The big, yellow moon was so round when we went camping!”
- Sing and play with words. Sing songs, listen to music, play word games and have fun making up silly rhymes.
- Read together every day. Take turns reading to each other. Talk about what you’ve read.
- Encourage them to draw and print. Ask them to tell you what they’ve drawn. Write the words they say on the page. When they start to print words, ask what they’ve written.
Call Health Link at 811 or your health care provider if your child has any of the following:
- acts like they’re not paying attention—especially in group settings like a classroom
- appears more frustrated than other children
- has a hard time with learning
- cannot follow instructions
- trips or falls a lot
- has any other signs that concern you
Emotions
Learning about emotions
Your young child has more complex emotions than before, such as confidence, empathy, frustration, jealousy, disappointment, pride or guilt. They may be confused when they have mixed emotions (e.g., feeling worried, excited or happy and sad at the same time).
By the time children are 5 years old, they’re usually able to control and express their emotions better. They may still struggle to find the exact words to describe their feelings. Your child now understands that they can show their emotions in better ways than pushing, hitting or other physical actions.
At this age, your child may:
- Fear things that could really happen, such as getting hurt, someone dying, or having their home broken into
- Start to use self-talk to calm down. You can help by making suggestions. “Let’s take some deep breaths.” Model calming down by using self-talk when you’re upset, for example “I want to calm down. I’ll take some deep breaths so I can relax and think about what I can do to feel better.”
- Feel empathy. They may offer to comfort or help you when you’re sad.
- Become overwhelmed by frustration or disappointment at times. They may have tantrums once in a while.
Talk with your health care provider if you have questions or concerns about your child’s behaviour.
Supporting your child’s emotional development
- Talk about and accept their feelings. To help them cope with mixed feelings, you could say “It seems like you’re excited about skating with your friends. You’re also feeling worried that you might get too cold. Sometimes I feel excited and worried at the same time. It’s a little bit confusing, isn’t it?”
- Help them think of ways to show their emotions. “Sometimes we feel disappointed when things don’t work out the way we want them to. It’s okay to feel disappointed. It’s not okay to yell and throw things. What can you do instead?”
- Do not make fun of their fears. Listen carefully and tell them that everyone is afraid sometimes. Reassure them that you’ll not let anything hurt them. Help them think of things they can do to cope like taking deep breaths, keeping a flashlight close by or playing soft music.
- Notice when they help and care for others. They’re showing that they understand other people’s feelings and needs. Encourage and thank them for being helpful and caring.
- Help them solve problems by suggesting words they can say to themselves, such as “I can do this,” or “I’ll be okay,” or “It’s okay to be mad, but hitting can hurt someone.” Learn more about problem-solving.
“The best thing about being a parent is seeing things from a bigger perspective. It allows you to realize how life is larger than any of us. It’s humbling and easy to forgive the past with this new perspective.”
~Toni, parent of two children
Play
- Learning through play
- Active play
- Creative play
- Pretend play
In this Section:
Learning through play
Play builds healthy bodies and minds and is important for your child’s growth and development. Young children learn through everyday experiences. They can help with simple chores—they’ll enjoy feeling like a grown-up while doing them. You may want to walk to the store together to get milk or rake the leaves in the yard. They also need lots of time to play with others and on their own.
Your young child will explore and play in a new environment once they start kindergarten. They may be tired from the change in routine and being active in new ways. They’ll need time for both play and rest when they get home.
Active play
Your child needs lots of time to play freely—to climb, swing, run and jump. They understand directional words such as left, right, up and down. You can support their learning about directions by playing action games like ‘Simon Says’.
Young children need to be active through energetic play. This includes ball games, riding a bike or water activities. Depending on your child’s interests, they may enjoy playing at the park with their friends. They may also want to be in community sports or activities. At this stage, non-competitive physical activities are best. They help your child develop skills without the fear of failing or not being good enough.
Your child may:
- throw and catch a ball that’s bounced or thrown gently to them
- jump over low objects and skip
- learn to ride a bike with or without training wheels
Your child needs 60 minutes of energetic play that causes them to sweat and breathe a little bit heavier, such as running or bike riding. They also need several hours of being active each day, such as walking to and from school, playing hopscotch or playground fun.
Internet safety and screen time
Keep computers, TV and other electronic devices and games out of your child’s bedroom.
Limit screen time to no more than 2 hours per day. Learn more about screen time recommendations.
Creative play
Your young child is learning to use and control many objects. They prefer to use one hand more than the other for complex tasks. The other hand will help support the objects or materials they’re using.
Your child’s hands need lots of practice using a pencil, scissors, knife and fork. Your child may enjoy building, fixing things, cooking and making crafts. They learn a lot about how to solve problems by creating and using objects. They may:
- fasten buttons, Velcro® straps or zippers
- draw or copy lines, simple shapes and stick people
- cut on a line with scissors
- tie shoelaces
Pretend play
Your child may enjoy acting out stories from real life, books, TV shows or movies. At first their stories may be mixed up. In time, they’ll become more connected. Their sense of humour is really developing, so they may share the same funny stories over and over again. They may like to put on puppet shows or plays for the whole family.
Through pretend play, your child might try different roles and figure out what they would do, say or feel in different situations. Pretend play becomes more creative. Rather than acting out real-life situations, like playing house or restaurant, your child may pretend that they’re from another planet or that they’re a dog or a superhero.
Interacting with others
- Overview
- Playing with others
- Helping your child learn to get along with others
- Problem-solving when friends or siblings argue
- Bullying
In this Section:
Overview
Some young children want to spend a lot of time with other children. Others would rather spend more time alone putting things together or looking at books. This is part of a child’s temperament. Work with their temperament to help them find a balance. Your child needs time with other children, with you, and on their own. Learn more about temperament.
Usually, children at this age:
- are naturally curious and eager to learn
- like to be helpful
- want to be with more people
- enjoy group games and activities
- like games with rules—although at times they may want to change the rules as they go or get very frustrated when someone is not following the rules
Playing with others
At this age, children are meeting and getting to know more people. They’re learning that they can influence others. They can use words to reason and negotiate or to hurt and exclude others. They co-operate with others to play fun, active games or to be aggressive. The way you and other adults act towards each other has a powerful influence on watchful children.
Your child is also learning how people respond to their words and actions. They need your support and guidance to learn to use their words and actions in positive ways so that they can get along with others.
Children usually enjoy being with other children, but they can also have disagreements. At times, your child will want to set the rules and so will their friends or siblings. Instead of rushing in to solve the argument, try to wait and listen carefully. Let your child learn how to do it by themselves—they can learn how to problem-solve on their own. They will learn how to reason and negotiate fairly over time and with your help. Of course, you’ll need to get involved if someone is getting hurt, something is being damaged or if you need to involve the other child’s parents. Learn more about solving conflicts.
Helping your child learn to get along with others
- Encourage them to spend time with other children. It’s through play that they learn about themselves and others.
- Teach them about being kind and help them to think about how others might be feeling.
- Explain your family rules and expectations when friends come to play.
- Listen to the sound of play. Children this age need to know that a caring adult is near. Check in with them from time to time, even when things are going smoothly. Be ready to step in if needed.
- Encourage sharing and co-operation.
- Model problem-solving to work out conflict. Let your child practice doing this on their own—help only if they need it.
- Notice and comment when children are getting along with each other.
Problem-solving when friends or siblings argue
- Calm yourself and help calm the children.
- Separate the children if they’re hurting each other.
- Once they’re calm, let both children take their turn telling you the problem as they see it.
- Repeat the problem back to them in a way that states both of their sides without blaming or judging. “It looks like you both want to play with the same skipping rope at the same time.”
- Tell them you know they can find a solution that will work for both of them, and you’re there if they need help.
- Stay close by to monitor the situation and give them time to work it out.
- Step back in to help only if you need to.
Bullying
When a child is being hurt by someone else’s words or actions, they’re being bullied. When a child is hurting someone else with their words or actions, they’re bullying. In either case, it’s time for adults to act and step in.
Bullying is a serious problem in schools, communities and society. You can help prevent it by modelling healthy behaviour and relationships for your children at home and by working together with your child’s school.
Here are some things that can help:
- Set a good example. Treat your child with respect and they’ll learn to treat others with respect.
- Monitor media. Children are affected by the violence they see. Do not let them watch TV programs, movies or play video games that show violence. If they do see violence, talk about it with them so they understand that it hurts and it’s not okay.
- Have open communication. Teach your child to tell adults if they or someone else needs help. Listen to your child when they come to you with concerns.
- Work together. Talk with your child’s teacher or principal about what policies are in place at school and what they’re doing to prevent bullying. Ask them how you can help.
To learn more about ways to deal with bullying:
- Call the Bullying Help Line at 310-1818
- Visit Teaching Sexual Health – Bullying and Government of Alberta – Bullying
Helping out at home
Your young child may be eager to help you around the house. Be patient—it may take more time and they may not do things perfectly. It may sometimes be easier for you to do these tasks yourself, however letting your child do them today will help them develop their skills and make a big difference later.
Here are some ideas of what your child can do to help:
- Clean up their toys
- Pack their school bag
- Help with setting the table
- Put their lunch containers into the sink or dishwasher
- Help you cook or bake
Your child learns to help when you involve them and let them help. They know that they belong and that they’re an important part of the family when they have their own special jobs to do. As their skills and interests change, they may enjoy helping with more complex jobs. This builds their sense of capability, knowing that “I can do it!” A sense of belonging and a sense of capability are the two most important ingredients for developing a healthy self-esteem.
Take time to teach
When teaching children to do household chores, break the task down into small steps to gradually build their skills:
- You do it, they watch.
- You do it, they help.
- They do it, you help.
- They do it, you watch.