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Your Preschooler’s Growth & DevelopmentPreschoolers: 3 and 4 Year Olds

Introduction

On this page, you’ll find the developmental tasks and milestones that your preschooler is working on as they live life to the fullest and become more independent.

Your preschooler is starting to develop their own identity and their brain is twice as active as an adult’s brain. Find examples of serve-and-return interactions that you can do together to strengthen brain cell connections.

Preschoolers

As children enter their preschool years, they know what they like and dislike. Their emotions tend to be more stable and predictable. As they understand their emotions better, they may start telling you their feelings and opinions.

Your preschooler may be taller or shorter, bigger or smaller than other children their age. They’ll each have their own pattern of growth. Talk with your health care provider if you have questions or concerns about your child’s growth.

Preschoolers want to play with other children. Over time, they’ll learn how to share and play with others. They’ll also:

  • become more skilled and co-ordinated in their movements
  • love to imitate, sing, recite rhymes and have fun with words
  • have great imaginations and sometimes have trouble understanding the difference between what’s real and what’s pretend

During this stage, your child will start wanting to make their own plans and acting on their own thoughts and ideas. They feel happy with themselves when they can do things on their own. It will take time and practice for them to feel confident about what they can do. When you give your preschooler lots of chances to develop their skills, they’ll learn that they’re capable. This will help to develop their self-esteem.

Developmental milestones

As your child enters their preschool years, you’ll see remarkable changes. Preschoolers are now learning to play with and get along with others and becoming much more co-ordinated in their movements. By the time they’re 4 years old, they’ll have many interesting stories and adventures to share with you. Below, you’ll find information about the developmental milestones and tasks your child is working on in the preschool years.

3 and 4 years: The ‘thinking’ stage

Tasks

During this time your preschooler is continuing to practice earlier tasks and learning to:

  • manage emotions: starting to cope with their feelings and emotions
  • develop empathy: understanding and caring about other people’s feelings
  • take initiative: planning and acting on their own thoughts and ideas
  • feel capable: developing skills to do more and more on their own

Milestones: Physical

  • eats with a spoon and fork
  • dresses and undresses themselves
  • balances and hops on one foot
  • throws a ball, underhand and overhand
  • walks in a straight line, forwards, backwards, and up and down the stairs
  • climbs on things like furniture and playground equipment
  • kicks a ball
  • uses paints, scissors, pencils and crayons to create shapes and faces
  • develops bladder and bowel control both day and night
  • does simple chores with some help and direction

Milestones: Emotional

  • gets better at being able to identify and name their own feelings
  • uses words more often to express their feelings
  • fears real and imaginary things such as the dark, thunderstorms and monsters
  • exaggerates the truth
  • likes to talk about body functions
  • develops a sense of humour

Milestones: Social

  • begins to share and take turns
  • hits less, name-calls more
  • likes playing with other children
  • uses imagination and themes in pretend play
  • may have an imaginary friend
  • likes to talk
  • enjoys group activities and games

Milestones: Cognitive (thinking and communicating)

  • asks “Why?
  • uses longer sentences for more detailed stories
  • talks about the past and future
  • shows improvement in grammar and their words become clearer
  • starts to understand the difference between real and imaginary things
  • listens to and understands short stories
  • sings simple songs and recites rhymes from memory
  • has a very active imagination and tells short stories
  • by 3 years old, they can be understood by you 75–100% of the time
  • by 4 years old, they can be understood by you all of the time

If you have concerns about your child’s development, call Health Link at 811 or talk with your health care provider. You can also visit your nearest Family Resource Network and ask about the Ages and Stages Questionnaire (ASQ). To find your local Family Resource Network, visit Government of Alberta – Provincial Family Resource Networks – Service Provider Search

Your preschooler’s developing brain

Brain development

Your preschooler will go through many changes in just a few years. They are becoming their own person and their learning and playing are preparing them for school and classroom learning. All areas of your preschooler’s development are interconnected. Development in one area affects development in all other areas. Your preschooler’s development is guided by their brain.

When you know how the brain works, it’s easier to understand what you can do to support your child.

The names of four interconnected areas of development – physical, emotional, social, and cognitive – surround an image of a brain.
Tap or click image to expand

Your preschooler’s brain is developing rapidly. In fact, a 3-year-old’s brain is twice as active as an adult’s brain. Brain cell connections are getting stronger and connections that are not often used are pruned away so the brain can work more efficiently. Your child’s brain is now forming strong brain pathways that will help them develop the skills they need for life. This skill set includes all of the things that you’ve been supporting your child with since their birth, such as self-regulation, thinking, reasoning, remembering, taking turns, sharing and focusing their attention. All these skills will help your child be ready for a more advanced type of learning once they reach school.

Your preschooler is now likely asking you lots of interesting questions. They are trying to figure out how things work, so you may need to be patient as you answer. They’re getting better at being able to understand the information you share with them.

Brain cell connections become stronger when you and your preschooler engage in serve-and-return interactions. Here are some examples of what this might look like with your preschooler. You can also access printable activities for serve-and-return with your preschooler.

Serve-and-return interactions

Examples of serve-and-return interactions: 3 and 4 year olds

Your preschooler serves when they:You return their serve when you:
  • ask “Why?
  • talk to them about how things work and ask them what they think
  • recognize and read signs such as store names
  • play a game as you go for a walk or ride in the car together, such as looking for store names, signs and other things to read
  • enjoy rhymes and start to make their own, such as ‘hat-cat’
  • have fun making rhymes together—say a word and see if they can find one that rhymes
  • name some of their feelings and notice how other people are feeling
  • talk about how the characters in a story or how the people in your child’s life are feeling

Learn more about the developing brain.