Introduction
There’s a lot to learn in your baby’s first year! Be patient with yourself. If you share parenting, you and your partner may have different ways of doing things. This is okay as long as you’re both giving your baby safe and nurturing care.
Below, you’ll find ideas to help you cope with the stressful feeling of always being ‘on-guard’ with a moving older baby.
Taking care of yourself
There’s a lot to learn in the first year of your baby’s life, especially if you’re parenting for the first time. Be patient with yourself. You’ll learn as you go and you’ll learn something new with each child you have. If you share parenting, you and your partner may have different ways of doing things. This is okay as long as you’re both giving your baby safe and nurturing care. Over time, your baby will benefit from learning that there are many ways to reach the same goal.
It helps to spend time with other parents so you can help each other learn new ways to have fun with and care for your babies. Your baby will also learn by being around and watching other babies and children.
Practicing self-care by eating healthy, being active and getting enough sleep will give you the energy you need to take care of yourself and your family. If you’re trying to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight, talk with your health care provider for advice. Strict diets are not recommended as these can affect your health and, if you’re breastfeeding, can affect the amount of milk you produce.
Pay attention to your feelings and talk to people you trust. Postpartum depression or anxiety that is not treated affects both you and your family. The sooner it’s treated, the better you’ll feel and the more energy you’ll have for yourself and your family. Learn more about postpartum depression, anxiety and psychosis.
Life with a busy older baby
In the early months, you were able to put your baby in one place and they were content to stay there. As the parent of an older baby, you have likely realized those days are over. Your older baby is now on the move! At this age, they are exploring and playing and everything seems to go in their mouth. This is how your baby learns about all the new things they are discovering, but it means they need to be constantly monitored. Your baby depends on you to provide them with safe places to play.
Always being ‘on-guard’ can be stressful for parents of older babies. You can help yourself cope by being aware of how stress affects your body and thoughts and what you can do to self-regulate so that you can calmly respond to the demands of parenting at this stage. Learn more about the stress response and self-regulation.
Over time, you’ll learn what works best for you and your family. Here are a few things that can help:
- Make your home child-safe and child-friendly. Rearrange things so that dangerous objects are out of reach for your curious baby. Put away breakable things for a while. You can put them out again when they have learned not to touch those things—at around 3−4 years old. This will also help you avoid having to say “No” and re-directing them all the time.
- Celebrate your baby’s learning. Your baby is becoming a budding scientist—trying to figure out how things work. While it may be frustrating to watch them drop cereal off of their high chair, try to remember that they’re experimenting and trying to find out how things work, for example, “What happens when I do this?” Your baby is just starting to learn that when things go away, they can come back again.
- Try not to do too much. As your baby moves into a more predictable pattern of sleeping, it may be tempting to fill late evening hours with work or hobbies. Try to have some time so you can get a good night’s sleep to have the energy to be the parent you want to be.
- Check it out. Your community may offer a number of parenting programs. Many public libraries also offer story time programs for children of all ages. You may find some resources that are helpful for you as well.
“By the time my baby had her first birthday I felt like we’d come so far. When I looked back at her newborn photos, I could see how much she had learned and how much she had grown. I was so proud of her and of my husband and I. We’d become an amazing team—I guess that’s what a family is.”
~Shivani, mom of one child