Introduction
On this page, you’ll find self-care tips to help you cope with change, solve problems and manage the many different emotions that fill the first few days and weeks after your baby is born.
You’ll also learn how to identify postpartum blues, depression, anxiety and psychosis. The earlier you ask for help, the sooner you can get the support you need, and the sooner you’ll start feeling better.
Mental health
- Mixed feelings
- Self-care
- Relaxation technique
In this Section:
Mixed feelings
The first few days and weeks after your baby is born are often filled with many emotions. Feelings of excitement and joy are often mixed with feelings of worry and tiredness. Your sense of who you are may have changed throughout your pregnancy and the birth of your baby.
You may find that you:
- have mixed feelings about no longer being pregnant, your birth experience, your baby and your role as a parent
- have a lot of energy or feel very tired
- have emotions that go from happy to sad and back again
- feel differently about how you look and the changes your body has gone through
Pay attention to your feelings and talk to your partner or a support person. You may be surprised to find that they also have mixed feelings.
“I found that going to bed shortly after dinner was helpful in the newborn stage. My partner would take care of the baby, unless she was hungry, and I could catch up on sleep.”
~Shalza, mom of two children
Self-care
Coming home with your new baby is an adjustment. You’re dealing with many changes and looking after many things in the first few weeks, and this can add up to a lot of stress. Caring for your baby as well as changes in your sleep, and emotions, can all affect how you feel and your ability to cope. Taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. This will help you have the energy you need to take care of your baby and family.
Practicing self-care helps your mental health by reducing stress and giving you the energy you need to cope with change, solve problems and manage your feelings and emotions.
- Take things one step at a time and one day at a time.
- Drink plenty of fluids, eat regularly, and follow Canada’s Food Guide.
- Be active. Even going for short walks can help boost your energy and mood.
- Take a nap or rest when your baby sleeps.
- Talk about how you’re feeling with someone who will listen without judging and who can offer you support.
- Write down your thoughts or feelings in a journal.
- Take time for yourself, even if it’s just for short periods of time to help you feel refreshed.
- Ask for and accept help from others.
- Practice simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and distraction. Taking short relaxation breaks throughout the day can be really helpful.
- Say “No” to any household tasks that are not urgent.
- Spend time with your partner.
- Stay connected with your family and friends.
- Limit visitors if you’re tired. Decide when visitors can come and don’t be afraid to let them know when you’re getting tired and need to rest.
- Go to parenting classes and support groups to meet others who may be going through the same things as you.
Be kind to yourself—caring for a new baby is a lot of work. No new parent has all the answers—you’ll learn as you go. Take the time to enjoy getting to know your baby. It’s your smiles, gentle voice, facial expressions and the gentle touch you provide as you help your baby meet their needs (e.g., feeding, sleeping, changing diapers) that build the connection needed for healthy attachment. Take your time and enjoy the journey.
You may be surprised that your life has changed significantly with your baby’s birth. You’ll find it takes time to adjust to this new normal. You may find that you’re worried about your baby’s health and safety, your ability to protect and care for them, or about yourself. You may also be worried about less income if one of you is staying home with your baby, or having less time for other activities and relationships. Talk about your concerns with your partner or someone else you trust. To learn more about what you can do for yourself in tough times and where to get help, visit Alberta Health Services – Help in Tough Times.
Over the next few months, as you get to know your baby better, you’ll start to feel more confident in your abilities to take care of them and your family. However, you may continue to have mood changes. Any parent, including parents who adopt a baby, can have depression, anxiety or mood changes. If you or your partner have had depression, anxiety or other mental illness before or have these symptoms now, talk with your health care provider.
Caring for yourselves
Remember that caring for your needs is important too. Your baby needs parents who take care of themselves to create a healthy family environment to grow and thrive in.
How to tell if you’re stressed
When your body is stressed it may make you feel sad, worried, tense, nervous, or angry. Your body may react to stress with tiredness, headache, backache, stomach ache or a rash. By paying attention to these signs and learning ways to reduce and manage your stress, you’ll have more energy to be the parent you want to be. Learn more about the stress response.
“I knew because I had depression in pregnancy that I was high risk for postpartum depression. I did all I could and used all the supports that Alberta Health Services offered me, including support from the Public Health Nurse.”
~Maggie, mom of one child
Relaxation technique
Get comfortable. Lie down or sit with your feet up. Then:
- Take 4−5 deep, slow breaths—in through your nose, filling up your abdomen, and out slowly through your mouth. This is like pretending you’re blowing on a candle, and trying to flicker the flame, but not blow it out.
- Think about sending the tension out of your body each time you breathe out.
- Starting with your toes, relax each part of your body. Relax your way up, from your toes to your head.
- When you get to your head, breathe deeply 4−5 more times. Let go of all of your tension.
- Now, imagine a favourite place. Imagine you’re in that place and stay there a while. Enjoy the feeling in your body and the calm in your mind.
- When you’re ready, slowly bring yourself back to the present. Take a moment to enjoy how you feel.
Postpartum blues (baby blues)
Many parents get the ‘postpartum blues’ around 3–5 days after their baby is born. Postpartum blues are linked with hormone changes associated with pregnancy and after childbirth. Getting support from people close to you and getting plenty of rest may help you deal with postpartum blues if you have it.
If you have postpartum blues, you may:
- feel a little sad, restless, anxious or overly sensitive
- cry for no reason
- be impatient and irritable
- have trouble concentrating
- feel overly tired or have trouble sleeping
- find your mood changes often, such as going from feeling happy to feeling sad
Having postpartum blues is common and may last 1–2 weeks. If these feelings don’t go away or if they get worse, it may be a sign of postpartum depression or anxiety. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone.
Call Health Link at 811 or your health care provider if you have symptoms of postpartum blues that last longer than 2 weeks after your baby is born.
Postpartum depression, anxiety and psychosis
- Postpartum depression or anxiety
- Symptoms of postpartum depression
- Symptoms of postpartum anxiety
- Symptoms of postpartum psychosis
- Family support plan
In this Section:
Postpartum depression or anxiety
Postpartum depression or anxiety can happen anytime up to one year after your baby’s born—even if it did not happen with your other births. If you’ve had depression or anxiety before or during your pregnancy, this can increase the chances of you having postpartum depression. Postpartum depression and anxiety are common after birth and often occur together. Your partner may be the first one to notice the symptoms.
When you take your baby to their first well child clinic and immunization appointment at 2 months, a public health nurse will offer to screen you for postpartum depression. Your mental health is as important as your physical health, and the earlier postpartum depression or anxiety is detected and treated, the better it is for you, your baby and your family. Untreated postpartum depression can affect your relationships with your baby, other children, partner and family. This includes your ability to take care of yourself and your baby. People may tell you to ‘pull yourself together’, but postpartum depression is not something that goes away on its own. Fortunately, there is help available. Call Health Link at 811 or talk with your health care provider about any concerns.
Supporting each other
Partners can help by watching for signs of mood changes and offering support. Your partner may be the first person to notice your mood changes.
Symptoms of postpartum depression
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“I knew that [my] crying all day, every day was not normal. When the public health nurse screened me, she gave me tips and tricks about coping with postpartum depression. The difference is that when you’re in it, you feel like you’re in a fog, but when you’re out, you know you’re out.”
~Maheen, mom of one child
Symptoms of postpartum anxiety
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Call 911 NOW if you or your partner have thoughts of hurting yourself (e.g., suicide), hurting your baby, or hurting anyone else.
You may think that this is not how you’re supposed to feel or it’s not what you expected. You may also be worried about talking to your partner or someone else about these feelings. If you feel this way, you’re not alone and help is available so that you can feel better.
Get help when you first notice the symptoms of depression or anxiety. Asking for help does not mean you’re weak, or that you’re not a good parent. The earlier you ask for help, the sooner you can get the support you need, and the sooner you’ll start feeling better. Seeking help and practicing self-care can decrease your symptoms.
To learn more about postpartum depression or anxiety, and getting help, visit Alberta Health Services – Postpartum Depression.
“At [the postpartum support program] I had group support. The program made the difference. I got to talk with other moms. It wasn’t just me.”
~Kerri, mom of a baby
Symptoms of postpartum psychosis
While postpartum psychosis is rare, it’s very serious and can happen quickly—usually in the first month after your baby is born. It’s important to get help right away as this is a medical emergency. There’s a high risk of a parent with postpartum psychosis harming themselves or their baby.
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Call 911 NOW if your partner has any of the following:
- has thoughts of suicide or hurting themselves, your baby, or anyone else
- has symptoms of postpartum psychosis
Family support plan
Having a support plan may help when you are feeling overwhelmed. The Family Support Plan is your own plan to help you cope and find resources. You make the plan and if you wish, share it with your family. When you complete the Family Support Plan it may help you identify when you are distressed, ways of coping, and which friends, family, health care professionals and community supports you can call on for help.
Changes in your sexual relationship
Physical and emotional changes after the birth of a baby can affect both partners’ sexual desire. For some people, the birth of their baby brings new joy to their sexual relationship. For others, they are not interested in sexual activity for the first few months. You can start sexual activity again when vaginal bleeding has stopped and you feel ready. Be sure you’re both physically comfortable and emotionally ready.
Be gentle and patient with each other, and talk about your feelings. Expressing your affection is still needed, even without any sexual activity. Sexuality can be expressed in many ways and being intimate can include cuddling, hugging, kissing and showing tenderness towards each other.
An individual can get pregnant when breastfeeding and before their period returns. Talk to your health care provider about your choices for birth control before having sexual intercourse.
Learn more about resuming sexual activity after having a baby, as well as birth control options.